1: Prometheus

Prometheus pensively stares at his deeds. (DALL-E 2; Sam Marshall)

Zeus and humanity had a weird relationship that I still don't really get, but we talked about it a lot in late-20th / early-21st century American Public Schooling, so forgive me if I'm light on details but heavy on sarcasm. Mythology belongs to the teller, so take a seat.

As it goes, a Titan by the name of Prometheus tricked Zeus into eating a bunch of bones and as a punishment took away fire from man. Well, tricked is one view at it — and a fascist one at that. Zeus asked for an offering, so Prometheus lay before him two choices: filet wrapped in ox stomach, or bones wrapped in fat and tallow. Zeus, not wishing to inspect closely, picked the latter. Prometheus gave Zeus's rejected choice, the nutritious and delicious filet, to mortal men, whom he liked better anyhow.

Zeus, by most accounts, craved order and fealty. Pride was the trait he found himself wrinkling his nose at most. Just ask Ixion, who tried to seduce his wife — he's spending eternity on a rotisserie in Hades. Prometheus knew this and showed it in Zeus's face. To punish Prometheus, Zeus withheld the power of fire from mortal men. Fire allowed man to create and cultivate without the aid of immortals (as this generally displeases Gods). But, this punishment also made Prometheus pretty miffed; he kinda liked those ambitious, weird, mortal men, dumb and cold and squishy as they were.

The details are scant, but in his enigmatic ways Prometheus whisked a flame from Olympus via a fennel stock and bestowed it upon mankind. From there, they forged civilization along with arts and sciences — and this really displeases type-A Zeus. And so, he sentenced Prometheus to a lifetime of eternal damnation of being chained to a rock, his liver pecked out by a bird of prey each day; regrown each night. Even Hephaestus, the God of Fire and Forgery, thought it a little radical.

I am not bold enough to use sheer force
against a kindred god and nail him down
here on this freezing rock. But nonetheless,
I must steel myself to finish off our work,
for it is dangerous to disregard
the words of Father Zeus.

Hephaestus in PROMETHEUS BOUND

Perhaps that's why Prometheus stuck out to me (and to Shelley) so much — despite the others that so earnestly sought to mock or challenge Zeus, Prometheus showed Zeus the error in Zeus's own hubris by allowing him to choose what seemed good over what could be found to be good. And to allow humanity to suffer from Zeus's own error, that seemed a bridge too far. So, Prometheus gifted mankind with the ability to harness energy and change life as we know it, and that really pissed off the higher ups. And that was supposed to motivate the public to obey, fear, and worship Zeus? I would be fiercely on the side that granted me the power to make bread and smoked meats — Team Titan. Which is precisely why Zeus came up with his most ingenious punishment yet.